I need help from someone good at essay writing.. or English in general..?
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Hi there,
ok SO, I really have my heart set on taking the social service worker program at this one particular college. I sent out my application but now I have to put together a portfolio which should include a 750 word essay (or personal statement) saying why I "wish to become a Social Service worker by referring to current and previous life experience, work and or volunteer experience, my personal characteristics, my knowledge of the Social Service field and my short and long term goals."
I did a co-op at Extendicare (long-term care for seniors) and worked in the Alzheimer’s unit a lot.. so I plan to incorporate that. A very close relative of mine was also in a women’s shelter type thing for abuse so I might include that… unless it’s better to focus on the one thing? I just need help with a good intro. Maybe some points I should include. Any tips would be great! I realllllllllllllllyyyyyyyy I want to get into this competitive course!
I was starting with something like this..
When I first arrived off the elevator of the fifth floor I began to look around. The senior residents were all in their own worlds. Some singing, some hollering back and forth and others just staring blankly across the room. Although they each had their own very distinct personalities they all had one thing in common—they were disabled and dependent on the Extendicare workers to keep them in tact.
Yes, I know that sounds really stupid but I just mean something along those lines. I’m not good at writing whatsoever and help is much needed! I plan on getting a teacher to revise it after wards, buut I need a good start off. Thanks in advance!!
Make an outline.
Start off like this.
Introduction—–Who you are
Paragraph 1—— Time spent at Extendicare
Paragraph 2—— Family Abusees/Abusers
Paragraph 3——- Why are you PERFECT for this position.
Closing——A restatement of your Introduction.
As for your little paragraph thingy…….please don’t do that I’ve helped grade too many papers where people were trying too hard to get anything across.
A better option would be to use your literature helpers, like action words, forgo the excess use of all, and although, and they had their.
It sounds so much better if you would say……….. Each had their own personality, but all were dependent upon us. The responsibility that piled upon me that day changed me for the better.
Go along those lines.
Good Luck and Good for you.
In my experience with writing and reading college entrance/ scholarship essays, I would say to go in a different direction. The dramatic narrative-style essay that you started there turns readers off to you. People that read these essays think that you are trying way too hard. They would much rather just hear what you actually have to say instead of making it into a dramafest.
References :
College student and seasoned essay writer.
I wouldn’t use a first person prose story for your essay. Really, don’t let the word "essay" scare you. An essay is just you telling other people what you think about things. Make yourself a list of the reasons you want to do this, then write about the most important one.
Really, though, isn’t essay writing taught in high school anymore? Or has it been replaced with gay appreciation classes?
Go to the poltics section of Answer and read some of the longer answers. There are plenty of examples of good essays right there.
References :
Make an outline.
Start off like this.
Introduction—–Who you are
Paragraph 1—— Time spent at Extendicare
Paragraph 2—— Family Abusees/Abusers
Paragraph 3——- Why are you PERFECT for this position.
Closing——A restatement of your Introduction.
As for your little paragraph thingy…….please don’t do that I’ve helped grade too many papers where people were trying too hard to get anything across.
A better option would be to use your literature helpers, like action words, forgo the excess use of all, and although, and they had their.
It sounds so much better if you would say……….. Each had their own personality, but all were dependent upon us. The responsibility that piled upon me that day changed me for the better.
Go along those lines.
Good Luck and Good for you.
References :
me